~feldon

Just realized I've been here a little over 6 years.

Well how about that.

Ian! Where have you been? No update, no deviation, are you still artsy?

Shut up, disembodied head of ones and zeros! I'm here, I just don't like you right now. I've got things to do!

School treats me like a circus; know-it-all spectators thinking they've seen everything, gawking in amazement once in a while, only to leave the show liking just my trapeze act. I have a wondrous trapeze act. How are you suppose to take that sort of metaphor? Stop trying to skirt the sides of my big-top; just come beneath my tent and enjoy my clown and elephants. Rafflewaffle.

Radiohead. Tampa. Tuesday. I think bliss just gave me a black eye and said I was hers forever. She's a mean one, Missy Bliss. I'd break up with her but my CDs are in her car.

Work? I'm probably going to be a teacher. This is one of those, how you say in the language I already speak, cornerstones of life.

My name is Captain Cliche. You killed my originality. Prepare to die.

Who's stressed?

I was out and about, and at around 10PM or so, one of my headlights blew.

At the time I was in the Barnes & Noble parking lot, and right when I turned on the headlights, the passenger side light fizzled out. I was with ~trustahope, and since there wasn't a 24-hour automotive store/repair place anywhere, I suggested hitting it or kicking it back on. She reduced my suggestion to a manly attempt at trying to fix things with force. I consigned to fix it in the morning.

I knew this would be a problem, and on my way home I was pulled over.

"Sir, one of your headlights are out."
"I know officer, it went out about half an hour ago at the Barnes & Noble."
"Did you try hitting it?" I looked at ~trustahope.
"No, sir."
"Well give it a try."

I start to laugh and tell ~trustahope, "I told you so," and I got out and gave the stubborn light a few good licks. After bitch-smacking it a few times it was obvious it wasn't going to work, so the cop waved us on our way and that was that. Farther up the road I see a cop ahead of me do a stop-and-follow, and I knew he was doing it for me, I turn right at an intersection as he blazed his lights and made another right into a shopping center parking lot.

"Know why I pulled you over?"
"My headlight is out."
"You also ran the light."
"...what?"
"It was red, you just cruised through while turning right. You have to do a stop-and-go. Stop for 3 seconds, then go, when it's red."

Must have missed that in traffic school. 8 years ago. ~trustahope said the same thing, but added it must have been in the book. The cop takes my information, said he's only going to get me for the light and not the redlight-run, and I told him I had been pulled over already that night, but he didn't seem to care. It's St. Cloud, they have no souls.

It wasn't a big fine, but the steps to rectify it are a bit ridiculous. I have to get it fixed, go to a police station and have an officer sign off on it and confirm that I did it, pay him $4, then go to the courthouse and pay them $7.50 for records. $11.50 total. Not bad, could have been worse, but just kind asinine I have to go through the motions because a light went out on my car beyond a reasonable hour and there was nothing I could do about it.

I'm just venting. I'll probably get it fixed tomorrow and paid off this week, along with a month old speeding ticket.

I'm going to drive like an old lady. Expect pictures of me in suits and a driving cap from now on. I'll keep a set of golf clubs handy in case my VIPs that I drive around forget theirs.

The 9-iron will be a lefty though. A light goes out again, I'ma whack it. Fucking manly.

you probably look at my photos more than my words. if you do, you're an asshole.

stop watching television and read a damn book.

...you a story.

that's right.

merry christmas, you animals.